Just P: The First Nigga To Blog From A Cell...

If you're my friend on facebook you may have read my status and wondered was I bullshittin about bein in jail. Well I'm not, and I'm sittin in cold dirty ass cell as I type this. Before I give this brief dissertation, let me clarify two things. 1) I AM NOT A "CRIMINAL", THOUGH I HAVE BEEN CHARGED BUT NOT CONVICTED OF A "CRIME".
2) THE ONLY REASON I'M ABLE TO BE SITTING HERE USING MY CELLY TO POST ON MY BLOG IS BECAUSE OF HOW "SWEET" (NOT MEANING NICE) THE POLICE ARE IN CARBONDALE.
Now that I've got that out of the way I can tell you the story. Long story short, bullshit case...missed court Tuesday...pigs at my door this mornin, brought me in...bond 500...waitin on paperwork as I type this. The ridiculous thing is that this I going 2 bring me to a total of 870 bucks spent on just bonding out for this weak ass case. Needless to say, I'm heated. Not only do they make you pay outrageous amounts for petty bonds, you can only pay cash. (NO ATM IN THE COUNTY JAIL EITHER) Meaning that I had to have a mufucka front me bread and wire it so I can get out this jam. But wait there's more. I gotta pay a processing fee to these mufuckas for lockin me up as if they did me a favor by giving me an early-morning handcuff wake-up. Then to add insult to incarceration I gotta pay some fake ass bondsman (NO BAIL BONDSMANS IN ILLINOIS) to come bring me my ends. I aint sassin him buz he's helpin me get free and getting money while doin it, but he's just so unnecessary when the 16-digit number on da card in my wallet could've freed me instantly had the Jackson County jail system even been geared for this century. On another note this is the last friday of the school semester so yall gotta know Ima go hard when I get out dis shithole.